Well, the action started before we'd even left my flat in London! We were five minutes from heading out the door when we all heard a fucking loud and weird noise out on the street below (I'm two storeys up) like something scraping along the road. I ran for the window and stuck my head out just in time to see the bike above come to a halt on its side, and a guy spread-eagle all over the road screaming out to his young son who was also spread-eagle all over the road. I bolted down and got outside to see them both unable to pick themselves up. Aside from grazes galore they didn't appear to be too beat up though. It turns out a parked car had pulled out in front of them, causing them to swerve and lose control. Jared and I picked the bike up (big heavy bastard) and moved it off the road. I later found out the son was fine, the father broke his ankle, and the bike broke its front brake lever.

Anyway, a few hours later we landed in stop number one - Amsterdam, capital of the Netherlands!

No matter how crap your bike is, you won't look the slightest bit out of place in this country!

Baby on board.

This three-storey bike park can hold around 20,000 bikes I think I was told, but is about to have a further three storeys stuck on top because it just isn't big enough to meet demand at the moment hahaha, bloody hell! The 750,000 people in Amsterdam own about 600,000 bikes, and the Netherlands' 16-millions inhabitants own close to16-million bikes as well.

We made friends with the Dutch fella working at our hotel, and went wandering through the central streets and canals.

Bloody nice huh! This is the first time I'd been here in summer - big difference!

All of the buildings in central Amsterdam are tall and skinny, and many of them look like they're going to topple or collapse at any moment. With most of the Netherlands being below sea level, Amsterdam is all reclaimed land and as such the tax to build on this land was friggin' high back in the day. Solution: build up instead of out, and this is the result.

A lot of them also slant forward and have large hooks hanging over from the rooftop to facilitate moving furniture in and out. The staircases in these places are very narrow and steep, and there's no way you'd be getting a pool table up them!

Dutch road work :)

Dam Square, a large open area in the historical centre of Amsterdam that often plays host to a myriad of events, buskers, and disoriented tourists.

Just another day in Amsterdam hehe. Spot the guy in the road-side urinal posing for the photo hahaha!

Other common sights in Amsterdam: street markets...

Tiny cars that you could probably pick up and walk off with...

ZZ Top (apparently)...

Graffiti...

Lots of graffiti...

Marijuana...

Lots of marijuana...

Lots of stuff to help you enjoy the marijuana...

Stoners...

Lots of stoners...

And gays! Yes, the gays love Amsterdam, and Amsterdam loves the gays. There's even a gay map of Amsterdam hehe.

The red-light district! De Wallen is the largest and best-known red-light district in Amsterdam (yes, there are more). Da Wallen is located in the heart of the oldest part of the city, and spans several blocks.

We wandered into one of the many sex shops around, and found New Trannies...

American Military Issue 5...

And BBB - Big BIG Babes, volume 28! And no we didn't buy three for €50 ;)

There are around 1200 working girls in Amsterdam working about 380 windows daily (hence Jared and I coined them "hoes in windows" ;) These windows are worked in day, evening, and night shifts, and the girls pay upwards of €140 to rent the rooms out depending on the location. The hoes hate being photographed through the window, and we got yelled at a few times for doing exactly that hehe (we went to Amsterdam and got told off by prostitues ;)

Not the most the romantic setting. The average encounter lasts all of about 20 minutes, and will cost you around €50. Before you ask how I know all this: Lonely Planet's Western Europe, honest :)

Even if it's not your type of scene, you've gotta love this place!