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Saturday - Sunday, 15 - 16 October 2011 - Good morning Vietnam!

Have you ever spent 30 hours on a bus? Well we have now. As I mentioned a couple days ago, we decided to take an overnight sleeper bus from Vang Vieng, Laos (above) to Hanoi, Vietnam. It was a lot cheaper than flying, and a lot more interesting and somewhat adventurous way of doing it, but of course much longer - on par with the length of time it took us to fly from Texas to Bangkok in fact!		I neglected to mention the several restaurants in Vang Vieng that play nothing but DVD's of Friends and Family Guy on repeat. Like I mentioned somewhere - Vang Vieng is extremely touristy!

After lunch we jumped on this bus with the awesome drapes for four hours of bouncing all over the typical Lao roads with their potholes the size of small houses. I've never heard suspension creak so hard in my life.		The bus dumped us in Vientiane, the capital of Laos, where we were originally going to spend a couple of days until I heard from several folk not to bother. From the bus station we were driven a half-hour to another bus station on the other side of town. I'm not sure what part of town we were in exactly but it was a total dive, and probably well worth skipping. That dude on the back of the scooter is carrying a bicycle hahaha!		Then we piled onto this bus - I'd never seen anything like it. Two storeys, three columns across and five rows back of reclining seats, plus three more squeezed in right above the engine day where we were allocated. At 7pm, we hit the road.

We stopped here a couple hours later for what turned out to be dinner. This is when I started to realise that this bus was aimed more at the locals than the tourists. I hadn't noticed before but over half the passengers were Asian, and this was the first of several stops where no one informs you of what the hell is going on - us tourists were supposed to just figure it out for ourselves whereas the locals of course knew exactly what was happening.		1am, and we pulled up here for the night in the middle of nowhere, 30kms from the Vietnam border according to my GPS. With three of us squashed up the back and no air conditioning with the engine off, sleeping was out of the question for me, so I took a book inside and kind of coma'd over a table for an hour hehe.

I woke to our bus horn informing everyone we were leaving (though everyone was already on board except for me). It was 5am. I walked out to find the bus in the middle of performing a million-point turn as the driver tried to back it out hehe. I stood there watching and waiting to be let back on, when bus crew assisting the driver outside noticed I wasn't wearing shoes. They pointed to my feet and spoke to me in Vietnamese (it was at this point I realised they couldn't speak English, and this bus was definitely meant for locals). I pointed to the bus to indicate my shoes are in there, and that seemed to really piss them off - no less than half a dozen of them came up to me one-by-one going hysterical in Vietnamese over my missing footwear! Other than perhaps dragging a bit of dirt into the bus I've no idea what the big bloody deal was, nor why they thought yelling at me in their local tongue was going to make any difference. Eventually the driver finished his 37-point turn, opened the door, got out, and started yelling at me in Vietnamese too while frantically pointing at my feet hahaha! I'd had enough of this silliness by this point and so I started yelling back at the driver in a mock-Asian language. Well that shut him up, and he stood there staring at me dumbfounded. I then said some more nonsensical Asian-like gobbledygook and casually walked onto the bus. That sent the bus crew into tears of laughter, but the driver was not impressed - even less so when I smiled back at him as I boarded.

Anyway, we were off again, and after a very hilly and winding ride we arrived at the Vietnam border at 6:30am (which opens at 7am). During the drive it started to rain, and it was absolutely pissing it down now. We were kicked off the bus and gestured (not told) to enter some building off over there which turned out to be Laos immigration to stamp us out of the country. It was pretty crowded in there and again there was much confusion, this time over which window us foreigners were supposed to give our passports to, where we were supposed to pay the departure tax, and just generally what the fuck was going on really. With it all finally sorted some 30 minutes later we ran back for the bus soaking wet, and this time Kristina got told off by the driver for... being too wet! She was no more or less wet than anyone else, so clearly this guy was just an asshole. Shortly thereafter we were driven to immigration on the Vietnam side to be stamped into the country. No direction, more confusion, more getting soaked, more over-excited bus crew hehe. It was now 8am, we were officially in Vietnam, and back on the road. I finally fell asleep at this point and woke at 11am when we stopped for brunch.

The conical hat - it's been the height of Vietnamese fashion for centuries ;)

While we were stopped in a traffic jam (for no apparently reason) we noticed this guy working away across the road. What's wrong with this picture?		He's somehow managed to dislodge one of his tracks hahaha! We watched for about ten minutes while he tried to get it back on, but only succeeded in making it worse. Yeah, you're getting fired.		At 8pm, 30 hours after leaving Vang Vieng, we made it to the bus station on the outskirts of Hanoi, but the fun wasn't over yet. We jumped in a cab, made sure he used his meter (good tip), and headed towards town. Seemed innocent enough until I noticed a) he was driving extremely slowly, 2) his meter was based on time as opposed to distance, and d) it was accumulating far too rapidly. I'd read about dodgy taxi meters in Hanoi and Vietnam as a whole, and this was definitely one of them (preparation kids :) After a long roadside argument with the driver I paid him a reasonable fare up to this point and we ditched him, and hailed a much more honest cabbie a few minutes later. Just like my spiel a couple days ago - everybody wants your money. Anyway, the shot above is round the road from our hostel - chaos!

Monday, 17 October 2011 - (Hanoi, Vietnam) The Towers of Hanoi

This is looking along the street from our hostel in central Hanoi - another perfectly manageable-looking power and phone line infrastructure.		The first thing we learned about Hanoi when we arrived here last night was the scooter is king of the road.		When I go to the store and buy something bulky, I'll stick it in the back of my car. Similar concept here, but different.

Still, it beats having to load up your bike...		Or your clavicle...		Or your head.

So we set off for our first day in Vietnam, home to 90 million compared to the seven million in sleepy Loas where we'd just came from. Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam, the country's second-largest city, and also home to seven million. We based ourselves in the Old Quarter around Hoan Kiem Lake.

We started wandering around the lake to get some reprieve from the traffic hehe - I've never heard so many horns anywhere I've been! I'd still like to cycle in it though ;)		Turtle Tower in the middle of the lake, often used as an emblem of Hanoi.		Aww, isn't that sweet.

We took a detour from the lake in search of a doctor to take a closer look at Kristina's leg (recall she burnt the hell out of it on the exhaust pipe of a scooter we hired in Laos). Neither the doctor nor his crew of nurses spoke a word of English, so we all used Google Translate on his computer to communicate haha! Kristina's leg ain't pretty, but all we can do is keep it clean and let nature take its course.

Anyway, back to the lake.		3pm, and this dude just got out of bed.		Ngoc Son Temple on its own wee island on the lake honours some 13th-century military leader, and is apparently worth checking out for the embalmed remains of a gigantic turtle supposedly from the lake. We decided we didn't want to pay to see the remains of a turtle, and admired it from afar instead.

These chicks are all over the place selling these sugary doughy yummy things. I'm sure at least one per day must get taken out by a scooter and lose their load. There aren't really any footpaths/sidewalks in the Old Quarter to speak of - they're used for scooter parking hehe, so you're constantly in the flow traffic. Video here of us trying to cross the road.		These guys are also everywhere - cycle taxis known as "cyclos". Kristina was a huge fan. Video here.		The Old Quarter has the original street layout and architecture of old Hanoi. At the beginning of the 20th century the city consisted of only about 36 streets, most of which are now part of the Old Quarter. The area is famous for its small merchants and local cuisine.

We had dinner in a bar overlooking my new favourite intersection. Five roads meet here, but there are no traffic lights, no roundabouts, no stop signs - nothing. And this is the awesome result hahaha! Scooters, cars, bicycles, and even pedestrians going in all directions - I could watch this for hours. Videos of the chaos here and here.

I'd like to cycle through this too ;)

We finished off the night by going to see a water puppet show, a tradition that dates back as far as the 11th century when it originated in villages in northern Vietnam. When the rice fields would flood, the villagers would entertain each other using this form of puppet play. The shows are performed in a waist-deep pool. A large rod supports the puppet under the water and is used by the puppeteers (who are hidden) to control them. It's quite random, but really cool to watch. Video here.

Couple night shots of the lake: looking towards the island housing Ngoc Son Temple with its turtle remains...		...and Turtle Tower. Why all the turtle stuff? It's all to do with a 15th-century legend that makes no sense.		VFC - Vietnam Fried Chicken!

Tuesday, 18 October 2011 - (Hanoi, Vietnam) Uncle Ho

Another day in the madhouse that is Hanoi :) While we spent all of yesterday in the Old Quarter, today we ventured out of it.

This is the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, a large memorial for the former Vietnamese leader.				And Kristina came in peace after what the Americans did to this country during the Vietnam War hehe. By the way, guess what the Vietnamese call the "Vietnam War" (since they certainly wouldn't call it the Vietnam War)? The "American War". I imagine it's the same in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Ho Chi Minh (born 1890, died 1969) was prime minister and president of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam (formally North Vietnam). He was a key figure in the formation of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, declaring independence from the French at the end of World War II. Later he was a key figure in the formation of the Viet Cong during the Vietnam War, the political organisation and army who were victorious in the almost 20-year war over South Vietnam and the US. Ho Chi Minh died at home in Hanoi from heart failure six years before the end of the war. When South Vietnam was captured by the Viet Cong (which officially ended the war) its capital, Saigon, was officially renamed Ho Chi Minh City (where we'll be in about three weeks) in Ho's honour. In Vietnam today, he is regarded by the Communist government with god-like status; his image appears on the front of every Vietnamese currency note (as per my VFC jibe yesterday), and his portrait is featured prominently in many of Vietnam's public buildings, classrooms and even temples, many of which are devoted to him. In short, he's a big fucking deal in this country, and in fact is affectionately known as simply Uncle Ho. As for the mausoleum complex, it also houses the Ho Chi Minh Museum, and several large well-kept gardens.

It also houses the One Pillar Pagoda, a historic Buddhist temple and regarded as one of Vietnam's two most iconic temples.		And these boys who appeared to be in training. You never know when the US are going to give you some more unwanted attention ;)

From the mausoleum we jumped on another cyclo (cycle taxi). Here is a typical Hanoi intersection. What's wrong with this picture? All of these people are running a red light! The traffic lights have a countdown in seconds to when they're going to change. Everyone on the red starts going when their countdown reaches about five seconds, and when the opposing green light turns red everyone ignores it for about 10 seconds and just continues on through hahaha. In other words, there's a period of about 15 seconds of chaos every time the lights change - brilliant.		This is the Temple of Literature. Although several can be found throughout Vietnam, this is the most prominent and famous. The temple was first constructed in 1070 and is dedicated to Confucius, sages and scholars, and also functioned as Vietnam's first university in 1076.

The Temple covers an area of over 54,000 square metres, and is apparently divided into five courtyards although the fifth one must be hiding as I only counted four.		Anyway, there are lots of random, things, about the place...		...and the usual array of things to pray to.

After all that fun we went back to my new favourite intersection (more info here) for a drink, though on the other side of it this time. And so ends our time in Hanoi - tomorrow morning we're outta here. Maybe with the exception of the traffic, Hanoi is a great city! Lots of random stuff to keep a tourist entertained, the maze of streets and merchants in the Old Quarter are awesome, and the areas we saw today outside of the Old Quarter were pretty nice. So I'm impressed, but Kristina on the other hand only rates Hanoi as "Ok" hehe, so there you go.

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