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San Antonio, Texas, United States of America (26 April - 17 June 2012)

Thursday, 26 April 2012 - Seven months to the day
Yup, after exactly seven months to the day since we flew out for Southeast Asia and seven months of awesome'ness, we're back in good ol' San Antonio, and frankly it's bloody great to be back! While I mean what I say about seven months of awesome'ness, seven months of non-stop travel in the way that we chose to do it was a very long time - probably too long. The magic number seven came about due to timing: my British work visa expired at the end of last August so I had to leave, I then wanted to spend a month with Kristina in Texas which took us through to the end of September, and she had to be home by May for another summer of her freelance swim coaching. We decided to use the seven months in between to cram in as many destinations as possible, and cram we did! While it means we've ticked a lot of countries off the world map and had the adventure of a lifetime, it also meant we were constantly on the move with minimal downtime. Suffice it to say it has been an extremely busy seven months and I would think twice about repeating it. We are both in dire need of some R&R in just one place without lugging 20kg (45lb) bags around the globe, and enjoying consistent hot showers, western food, tap water that is drinkable, and the English language hehe. If I was to do such a long trip again, I'd either cut down the number of destinations to include some regular breaks, or stick to a maximum of three or four months.

Anyway, we managed to make it back in one piece with only Kristina leaving her iPhone on a bus in Thailand and me misplacing my credit card somewhere in Guatemala. Against a lot of odds, we managed to avoid falling victim to any scams or crime, severely injuring ourselves (only Kristina's exhaust burn in Laos and my sprained foot in Nicaragua), or even falling ill or getting food poisoning which is probably the most amazing fact of all. Also amazing is that across the entire seven months, and despite the Southeast Asian floods and the Central American wet season, our plans were only messed up by the weather on just a few days. All up we visted approximately 75 destinations in 13 countries, and through the wonders of Google Maps I've approximated the total distance we covered from San Antontio back to San Antonio to be around 73,000km (45,000 miles) by land, air, and sea (about 46,500km or 28,900 miles of it by air). To put that into perspective, the circumference of the Earth is only 40,080km (24,900 miles). I took a total of about 6,000 photos, and for me personally the trip cost approximately US$13,000 plus flights (if anyone is interested, including myself for future reference: $3,200 for 2.5 months in Southeast Asia; $4,500 for two months in New Zealand; $2,700 for one month in Australia; $2,500 for 1.5 months in Central America). The total cost of flights on top of that was about $3,400 - ouch! Despite all that, I'm not entirely broke just yet but I'm well on the way.

During the last month, the company I worked for in London got in touch and have offered me a job in New York office starting in July. At this stage the offer, and my acceptance of it, is all but set in stone so I'm planning to chill out in Texas for the time being, celebrate and/or commisserate my 30th birthday in there somewhere, and head up to New York around mid-June to start yet another life in yet another city (for the fourth time now). But in the meantime, let the Texas R&R commence!

Friday, 27 April 2012 - NIOSA

This mayhem is a Night In Old San Antonio, or NIOSA as it's better known, which itself is part of the infamous Fiesta San Antonio - an annual 11-day festival. Fiesta dates back to the late 19th century, beginning as a single event to honour the memory of the battles of The Alamo and San Jacinto. Fiesta is San Antonio's biggest festival, with an economic impact of some $300 million. Note the number of folk of Mexican decent far outweigh us whiteys (both in terms of numbers and weight hehe) - welcome to San Antonio.

More than three million people take part in Fiesta over the 11 days. They can choose from more than 100 events that take place all over the city and beyond. NIOSA is just one of those event - a multicultural block party in La Villita in downtown San Antonio featuring a variety of random entertainment (including Louie on his front porch there) and countless food stalls that smell amazing!

These are Cascarones or confetti eggs. They are festive, hollowed-out chicken eggs filled with confetti (or small toys). In Italy they were first used as a courting ritual, filled with perfume and capped with wax. Men would throw them at women they found attractive hehe. The custom was later brought to Mexico in the mid-1800s where the perfumed powder was replaced with confetti.		And this is basically what you do with them.		I'm sure we all have some odd customs ;)

Eventually the smells and the sight of this got the best of me. This is a "Texas bird leg" hehe. I'm not so sure about the "bird" part.		I may look in some discomfort, but it was good discomfort ;)		Good times! Fiesta ends this weekend so I've unfortunately missed the bulk of it - maybe some other time.

Sunday, 29 April 2012 - New Zealand, that's near Wales, right?

So we're in the phone store, sorting Kristina out with a new cell phone after she left hers on a bus in Thailand. The American behind the counter asks me where I'm from, to which I reply "New Zealand". He looks really excited and says "Oh I've got family friends who are Welsh!" I say "Welsh, as in from Wales?" "Yeah! New Zealand is near Wales right?" hahaha! I really had to stop myself from calling him a dumbass, and instead settled for "No, no it really isn't. In fact you can't get much further away from New Zealand than Wales before you start heading back again." "Oh, well where is New Zealand?" "Do you know where Australia is on the map?" (most folk do, even bubble-wrapped Americans). "Umm, no. It's south isn't it?" Dear me. I pulled him over to an iPad that was on display and proceeded to education this ignorant idiot on the world map. This may sound like a pretty far out case but it sadly isn't. Very few Americans ever leave America, and the news dedicates very little time to global matters. The result: they don't know where on earth anything is, or anything about the countries they continue to invade and blow up. Before Kristina came over to hang out with me in Paris for four months she had to set up her bank cards to work over there. Upon telling the bank teller chick she was going to Paris, the chick got really excited and said "Ohhh I've always wanted to go to Paris - it's my dream!" A few seconds later while filling out the paperwork she asks Kristina "What country is Paris in?" hahaha! Lord give me strength. But wait, there's more! We just got back from taking Kristina's dog, Layla, to the dog park (where both humans and dogs alike can socialise). Yet again I got the question "Where are you from?" "New Zealand." "Umm, New Zealand state?" hahaha so this guy thought New Zealand was part of the United States! So again I tried to explain that New Zealand is fact near Australia, to which I got "Oh yeah yeah, that's right. You're quite close to China." I tell ya, you couldn't make this shit up!

Monday, 30 April 2012 - What's that smell?

In the last few days after firing up my big beast of a laptop for the first time in seven months, it's been running excessively hot. Furthermore, the battery would occasionally refuse to charge and the wireless kept dropping out (both signs of overheating). It's never done this before, and after sitting untouched and sealed for seven months I've no idea why it has started doing it now. Eventually, while watching South Park on it last night (catching up on missed episodes) it suddenly shut itself off and started smoking like a chimney hahaha! I've heard stories like that but never had it happen to me - it was all very exciting. Since I spent an arm and a leg on it (because I intended for it to last a lot longer than just 2.5 years) I have it insured back in the UK. I gave them a call and they said to take it to a repair shop, have the shop prepare a report and a quote for fixing it, and email this through to them and they'll reimburse me. Instead, I took it to the repair shop, gave the guy $20 and told him he can keep what's left of it in exchange for a report saying it's fucked and beyond repair hehe. New big beast of a laptop for me, courtesy of the insurance ;)

Thursday, 3 May 2012 - A small taste of home (with runny icing)

While I was back in New Zealand I raided a bakery most every day to savour the fact that nowhere else in the world does bakeries quite like we do. One of my favourite baked goodies has always been the Belgian slice, and I said to Kristina after we left that I'd look up a recipe when we get back to Texas and attempt whip up a batch. Well, I'm a woman of my word, and here is my first attempt. Not bad, but I made too much for size of the tin, and added too much water to the icing so it's gone everywhere hahaha but it's bloody yummy all the same :) Meanwhile, I've had a fun couple of days trying to order a new laptop to replace the last one that cooked itself. I've been trying to buy one through Hewlett-Packard's online store, customised to my liking. However, they wouldn't accept my UK credit card because they refuse to call an international bank to verify my details (because Americans are scared of that word: 'international' - it's like 'here be monsters' to them). So that's cool, I used my shiny new Bank of America debit card instead, and they wouldn't accept that either. Apparently, verifying my details with the bank is only step 1; step 2 is verifying I really am me. Because I've only been in the country a week, there is very little data (or none at all) available on me from their usual third-party sources. That being the case, they refused to deal with me any further hehe. So I tried the PayPal route instead but came up against the same roadblock: PayPal in the US don't know enough about me and so refused to authorise a $1,500 transaction. I tell ya, being an alien is hard! Anyway, Kristina's credit card to the rescue ;)

Friday, 4 May 2012 - Nana Eileen
It is with great sadness but with happy memories that I write this. My Nana Eileen (my Dad's mother) passed away at 4:30pm local time in Christchurch today. She was rushed to Hospital on Wednesday after suffering a number of small heart attacks and was diagnosed with emphysema. In a nutshell, emphysema is a long-term, progressive disease of the lungs that primarily causes shortness of breath as the lungs degenerate over time. Heart attacks are a common complication. Emphysema is currently irreversible, though just last year human stem cell research has revealed a possible treatment option. Emphysema is most often caused by smoking, and Nana did smoke like a chimney back in the day though she quit many many years ago now; I guess the damage may have already been done.

My earliest memories of Nana were staying with her and her husband at the time (not my biological grandfather) every so often when I was four years old. And I used to hate it hehe, but for absolutely no other reason than I guess my toys weren't there or it just wasn't my home, or whatever reasoning one has at four years of age. In fact, such was my displeasure at having to stay at Nana's that I gave her a nickname: "Nana Crap" hahaha - kids are terrible! Some time earlier when I was just three years old, Nana Crap apparently saved my life, though I have no recollection of this. I had found a bag of marbles somewhere while staying with her and, as you do, I stuck 'em in my mouth. Next thing I run out, blue in the face, chocking on one of these marbles. Nana sprung up, gave me the ol' Heimlich Manuever, and I coughed that sucker back up right in the nick of time. After that I wouldn't go near poor Nana for ages, because I guess in my mind she had hurt me in some way hehe. Good times :)

I'm guessing one of my brother's fondest memories of Nana will be from when he was about seven (making me 14). She had this plastic man about a foot tall with a freaky look on his face and a beer barrel for a torso with a tap on the front (so in other words he was a beer barrel with arms, legs, and a freaky head). Nana had named him Bob, and I don't remember where he came from or why we hadn't ever seen him before. Anyway, Jared took one look at Bob and absolutely freaked like you've never seen a kid freak out before - it was amazing! I don't know whether it was the look on Bob's face or the whole ensemble but Jared was terrified of him, so Nana had to put Bob away again hehe. For years however we continued to threaten Jared with Bob, for example if he didn't behave we'd set Bob onto him hahaha! Eventually that stopped working though ;)

Since I left home in 2005 I've only seen Nana a few times, and likewise with my other relatives for that matter which isn't easy. I last saw her when I was back home over Christmas, when she was still her usual jovial self, and that is how I will always remember her. She was an 'out there' sort of character and lived something of a unique lifestyle, but she was happy in her ways. She would have been 74 in July, and given her up-and-down health over the years she has had a much longer life than any of us ever expected. With all of my love, rest in peace Nana.

Saturday, 5 May 2012 - I love driving as much as the next guy, but...

So we all know that most every McDonalds has a Drive-Thru. And often, so too do the likes of Burger King, KFC, and other such fast food chains.		Here in the US of A, they also have drive-in restaurants, such as Sonic.

Well the land of fatties takes the drive-thru concept a step or two further. Last time I was here I mentioned the drive-thru banks which blew my mind hehe.				And today I discovered another beauty: the drive-thru pharmacy hahaha! Don't even have to get out of the car to collect your diet pills. Before long we'll be at the point where the walk from the front door to the car and back again will be the only form of exercise we ever do. Even Kristina is reluctant to cross a road when driving over is an option. Granted the example I'm thinking of was a busy four-lane road, but regardless it shows the 'drive everywhere' mentality is there.

Monday, 7 May 2012 - Texas thunder

A couple nights ago we had a huge thunderstorm that kicked off around 10 or 11pm and was still going for it at 4am when I got up to take a slash. The lightning was almost constant, and I thought about trying to get some photos of all the action but it was raining and my hair would have gotten wet. Didn't matter though - tonight we had another beauty! Before the heavens completely opened up, Kristina and I took my gear down to the local primary school (what they call elementary school here) round the corner. I stood out amid the action to snap these from the school's big open field while Kristina hid in the car. One is blue and one is purple due to different camera settings I was experimenting with, but either way you get the idea - it was an impressive show! Video here.

Monday, 14 May 2012 - R&R

Not too much happening lately, in part because of this. Since last week's storms that I mentioned above we've had several more beauties, and it's been raining more often than it hasn't. Last night we had two incredible thunder claps about an hour apart that literally shook the entire house hehe - awesome! Texas is in the midst of a severe drought so the wet stuff is being welcomed.		In other news, I now have a new beasty laptop to replace the last one that cooked itself for no apparent reason (also mentioned above somewhere). The insurance policy I had with the store I purchased that last one from in London have paid out what I originally paid for it, which when converted to US Dollars is a lot more than I paid for this one - sweet as!

Thursday, 17 May 2012 - I don't know Mario. Oh wait I'm his father.

According to the weather man we're over the rain for the time being, so I made the most of the return to blazing sunshine and continued my on-going mission of getting the legs back into cycling fitness after seven months of barely touching a bike.		For the most part I have no problem cycling around San Antonio, but my biggest gripe would be the lack of cycle lanes (or at least a lack of space for cyclists) on main roads. Some have them as per the shot on the left, but in cases like this one above I'm forced onto the sidewalk. Apparently San An is trying to embrace the cycling thing, and cycle lanes such as that on the left are a fairly new initiative. I also notice from the 'body language' of traffic that drivers aren't accustomed to seeing too many cyclists on the road here.
Gated community after gated community. Kristina lives in the north of the city which is a fairly affluent area for the most part and very safe, but apparently some folk still want the peace of mind of having a security guard and a big gate (and an American flag) out front.
Suburbia without the gates, and without the security guard, but still plenty of American flags.		On the local news last night there was a story about a car that had driven into the side of this flower shop earlier in the day hehe. The driver apparently had some sort of black out, and his ladyfriend in the passenger seat had to grab the wheel and swerve to avoid a car but ended up here.
That news bulletin then moved on to this story not too far away. Some dude driving a pickup truck on Tuesday night somehow lost control of it and smashed into this apartment building. He then got out and ran off hahaha (he was no doubt drunk)!
From there I started heading into the ghetto (this isn't it - I didn't want to risk taking my camera out hehe). I didn't have any trouble - no one even looked at me twice, but have you ever seen on American TV a pimped-up car full of homeboys and bitches with some other homeboys loitering on the road side all wearing cloths ten sizes too large and smoking whatever they can get their hands on? Well there was plenty of that ;)		Nice car. By now I had done 40-something kilometres and was in the southeast of the city. Check out this story, also from last night's news. That all happened right where I'm standing (you can see this car in the video hehe). Nothing like a good shoot up on the block.
Instead of riding back through the ghetto I rode back via downtown San Antonio instead. Not far out of town, while being forced to ride along the sidewalk again, I found this guy's wallet. Because I'm an honest citizen, I took it with the intention of tracking down the owner later. He had an old receipt with his cell phone number on it so I gave it a try. "Hello?" "Hi, is this Mario Vega?" "No." "Do you know Mario?" "No. I think you have the wrong number." "Is that a fact?" (in a condescending tone) "Yes, there's no Mario here." "Alrighty then, bye." Whether that was Mario or not, I got the distinct impression they at least knew him. Odd. But then, within ten seconds of hanging up, my phone rings with Mario's caller ID. "Yes?" "Who is this?" "My name is Aaron. I found Mario's wallet on the sidewalk and I'm trying to return it to him. Think you know who he is yet?" "Umm, I'm his father." (hahaha!) "Are you now." "Yes. Umm, how can I get his wallet?" "Well you can tell him to call me when you see him and we'll jack something up." Mario's father (or whoever he was) then started speaking in Spanish to someone in the background, and then some chick got on the phone. "Hello?" "Hello, you must be Mario's mother." "Umm, yes, yes I am." I was trying hard not to laugh down the phone at this point, unlike Kristina who was laughing - Mexicans really are a dodgy bunch of people! Many of them are in the US illegally and/or involved in dodgy dealings, so when some guy rings up and asks for them by first and last name they probably think it's the immigration department or the cops ;) Anyway, the call ended with the understanding that Mario was going to call me later when he got in. And an hour or so later he did, and we arranged to meet in the car park of our local Walgreens (i.e. a bright public area). By now it was 10pm, and Kristina and I pulled into the car park (or should I say parking lot) and wandered around to find him. We noticed a parked car with two people in the front so I wandered over to the driver's door, thinking it might be him. Instead there were two teenage / early-twenties girls in the front leaning into each other while the chick in the driver's seat held her phone out to take a selfie of them (because a trip to Walgreens is always a moment to remember). She took the photo right as I got there and then suddenly noticed me staring at them through the window - they both screamed hysterically and waved their arms and backed away from me hahaha! I briefly thought about apologising but decided it'd be funnier if I just walked off, which I did ;) We then spotted Mario a few cars along, and in the midst of shaking his hand and him thanking me profusely, those two chicks reversed their car and took off with screeching tyres hehe - Kristina and I cracked up and Mario looked like a confused Mexican. So what an eventful day. A total of 82km on the bike, homeboys in da hood, interrogating dodgy Mexicans, returning a lost wallet, and scaring the shit out of two young girls in a Walgreens parking lot.

Sunday, 20 May 2012 - New kitty

Meet the as-yet unnamed new member of Kristina's family. He is a five-year-old Bengal cat. His previous owner has just taken up a job that involves a lot of travel and so he had to let this little man go. That being the case, he actually did have a name: Goliath. Bengal cats are usually bigger than this guy, but when he turned out to be the runt of the litter that name didn't really fit and so it was shortened to just G. Well nobody here is keen on that name, so they're coming up with another one downstairs as I write this (Simba seems to be the consensus at this stage). Anyway, the cat is very friendly and has already warmed to everybody after arriving just a few hours ago, but Layla is a different story - those two are going to take a little longer to suss each other out hehe; it's fun to watch. Kristina's dad has wanted a cat for a while to deal with the birds that keep crapping on his car, so we'll see how that works out.

In other news, we had a solar eclipse today! While a solar eclipse is not common, they're not rare either but what is rare is being in the right part of the world to see it. This particular one was visible from China, Hong Kong and Japan, across the North Pacific Ocean, and the western United States. You can see a map of its path here and here, and a map of its path in US here; notice its path ends in Texas just prior to where I am San Antonio - bugger! San Antonio is in south-central Texas and the sun set before the moon had completely blotted out the sun. However, we did get to see a partial eclipse as the sun was setting - bloody amazing stuff! I shot these photos from a local golf course (I needed a wide open space) and had golf balls flying past me in all directions hahaha! Always gotta get the shot :)

Tuesday, 22 May 2012 - Aaron vs. the roaches

So Kristina's house is having a bit of a roach problem since about two weeks ago. Virtually every night I'm sending at least one or two of them back to their maker, but shit they don't go without a fight! For starters, they can bloody move man, and hide. That being the case, many of them got away from me at first but I'm starting to even up the scoreboard now, and no one else will go near them so it's usually me who gets yelled at to deal with them. "AHHHH, AARON, AARON, ROACH, ROACH!!!" They only ever show themselves at night and always around the kitchen area, either on the bench or on the floor. My preferred method of dispatching them is to take my flip-flop off (jandal for us New Zealanders) and fucking clout 'em - there's no coming back from that. If I'm bare-foot at the time, I'll often run upstairs to grab my jandal (left or right works equally well) and run back downstairs again and fucking clout 'em. The dog loves all the excitement! Sometimes I can tell that if I run upstairs, they'll be gone by the time I get back so I have to resort to whatever I have on hand. For example, a few nights ago the only suitable 'weapon' I had to hand was the dustpan. The little bastard tried to hide between the knives in the knife block, so I rammed the dustpan sharp-side-first between the knives and carved him in two. After that, we didn't see any for a while. Then came tonight. I was holding a dinner plate when I noticed one shoot across the kitchen bench right in front of me. I managed to trap him under the plate before he made his escape while I went upstairs to grab my flip-flop. "Hey Kristina, can you pick up that plate for me please?" WHACK! While cleaning him up, another one dashed across the floor hahaha! WHACK! 2-nil to Aaron. I cleaned him up too (and rinsed my flip-flop), and we went back to watching the telly. Sometime later I felt like a nice cup of tea, because I lived in Britain for five years. I flick on the kitchen light and there goes another one darting across the bench and looking for cover. This was a case where I had no time to whip upstairs, but the chopping board was sitting right there so I grabbed that instead. SMACK! It took a couple of shots but I got him in the end, so good in fact that I blew him to pieces with most of him ending up on the floor. While washing the chopping board I look over and there's another one staring at me - bloody hell! With chopping board still in hand I took aim at him too but he ran for the knife block (they seem to like that thing). I managed to shove the knife block against the wall while he was behind it but all that appeared to do was stun him, so he started running again and fell on the floor. Within seconds - SMACK! - the chopping board blew him to pieces too. 4-nil. By the end of all that the floor was a war zone with pieces of roach all over the place, including the head on the right there which was still moving - hell! According to Wikipedia, cockroaches are among the hardiest insects on the planet. Some species are capable of remaining active for a month without food, some can go without air for 45 minutes, and in one experiment cockroaches were able to recover from being submerged underwater for half an hour. In this case, the guy on the right was still clearly alive after being smashed to bits with the chopping board! Time to call the exterminators.

Friday, 25 May 2012 - Cheers Bill!

Bill Miller Bar-B-Q is a San Antonio-headquartered restaurant chain that focuses on barbecue food and sides, and bloody hell it's good! Kristina and I went to our local "Bill Millers" for dinner tonight, and apparently arrived shortly before they closed for the night. Ever wondered what a restaurant does with its leftovers at the end of the day? Well good ol' Bill just gives it away to whoever will take it hehe. First we were offered a dessert for just $1, which I couldn't resist. 60 seconds later we were just told to take whatever dessert we wanted (I felt gipped out of a dollar). 60 seconds later we were simply handed a bag full of leftovers including fried chicken, salads, fries, rice, fruit and desserts, and 60 seconds later again we were handed another hahaha! The animals loved it (especially the dog). Behold the great American diet.

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